Before offering some responses persons might make to their unwanted same-sex attractions, let me offer a response their loved ones can make. Never again spout the foolish statement that persons choose their homosexual attractions.
The Bible clearly states all are tempted. 1 Corinthians 10:13 reads, “But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” Note “when”, not “if.” Temptation is inevitable, and though we may not choose to be tempted by something, we do choose our response to the temptation.
There are at least three responses to unwanted same-sex attractions. I am fully aware that homosexuality cannot be summed up in these “tidy” responses. This brief article cannot answer all the questions surrounding homosexuality; that would take a book. (My book, “MORE THAN WORDS: Walking With (versus Talking at) Your LGBTQ+ Friends” is forthcoming.) The following are three responses such persons – and for that matter – all persons might make regarding temptation.
ONE RESPONSE TO SAME-SEX ATTRACTION IS TO “SUPPRESS IT.” Suppress means, “a conscious effort to put disturbing thoughts and experiences out of mind, or to control and inhibit the expression of unacceptable impulses and feelings.” Suppressing same-sex attractions are like trying to hold a large beach ball underwater. Although it can be done for short periods of time, it’s an exhausting task and requires almost undivided attention. Many men and women who are tempted by homosexuality mistakenly think they have mastered this technique. They never really deal with the issue; rather, they try to keep it in check, until one day they may give in to a second response.
THEY “EXPRESS IT.” They give in and act on the temptation; what follows in many cases is a snowball effect. Very soon one act of indiscretion takes control and they find themselves confined. Career, healthy friendships, hobbies begin to suffer.
I hear at least one reader saying, “Tim, homosexuality is an orientation, not a temptation.” But is it? Many will scoff at me for even raising the question. Noam Chomsky, an American professor and public intellectual known for his work in linguistics, writes, “I was never aware of any other option but to question everything.” We have been conditioned to believe same-sex attraction is an orientation.
Reject the deeply ingrained belief that says homosexuality is an orientation and embrace what God’s Word calls all inappropriate sexual feelings – a temptation – a powerful and at times all-consuming temptation, but a temptation nonetheless.
Moreover, by viewing same-sex attraction as a temptation, you can become equipped with the biblical tools to address it.
Then there’s a third response to same-sex attraction. “CONFESS IT.” John the Apostle wrote “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) Confessing a temptation or sin to God is agreeing with God that it is wrong. It is not a sin to struggle against temptation; it is a sin to give in to temptation.
A wonderful thing happens when we agree with God that He is right. His power is unleashed in our lives to keep us from giving in to temptation. Additionally, James 5:16 reads, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” You say you cannot tell anyone your struggle? Yes, you can; it may take some time to find a mature Christian who will listen. Take the first step and God will provide light for each subsequent step.
This article is adapted from Tim Wilkins’ book – MORE THAN WORDS: Walking with Talking at your LGBTQ friends.
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